In starting again a process of focusing in on my breathing/physical body - I realize the extent to which I am in my mind. How often do I check in to scroll through the thoughts, to see "what's here" - similar to when I go onto social media aimlessly looking... for what?
As I understand it, we created the mind, and this reality, because we separated ourselves from ourselves and set out on a search to "find ourselves". But the funny thing is in looking for ourselves, we miss ourselves because we are right here. In the very search, we accept the belief "I am not here." We have never been lost or missing... we have always been right in front of our faces yet we haven't allowed ourselves to see.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe there is some big quest I am supposed to solve or some big problem I am supposed to figure out instead of seeing, realizing, and understanding everything I have ever been looking for, as the point of who I am or why I am here, has always been right in front of my face
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, in searching for myself in some external reality, create an external reality that I attempt to "read" and make sense of as deciphering what the messages are the "universe" is sending me instead of seeing, realizing and understanding this is a game I am playing with myself... hide and seek. I am hiding from myself and I am seeking to find myself. Do I see it now?
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe reality must be full of symbols and messages that I must decipher and translate instead of seeing, realizing, and understanding there is a reality that is DIRECT and HERE without any games, or hidden messages - it is simply here
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept the idea that there is some greater force than me that is guiding me and giving me messages to help me "navigate" my path instead of seeing, realizing, and understanding that this is how I've separated myself from myself... I am the universe. Everything is me so how can there be something greater than me guiding me unless I've split myself into something else?
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create myself in such a way that I don't know how I created myself in such a way
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe the process of self-realizing and so actualization is a long, arduous process that I must endure pain and sweat and tears before I am gifted with the truth of me instead of realizing I have simply created it to be this way in accepting and allowing myself to be less than who I am
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand that how, throughout time, I have diminished myself over and over again to the point where here I am unable to recall or remember who I am or how I got here or what existence is in fact or how we create
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe there is something separate from me that I must learn or get access to in order to fully realize myself as the physical instead of realizing that when/as I breathe - I am aligned to my physical and so life
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that when I breathe with/as my physical body, I am breathing with/as the physical existence which is REAL and HERE
I forgive myself that I have not yet allowed myself to see, realize and understand that when I stop breathing with/as my body it's because I have separated myself into the mind and in doing so, allowed myself to cease to exist as I am no longer breathing and so I am no longer alive
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand how important it is that I breathe with/as my physical body as the actual expression of who I am as life
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe and so define myself as anything more than my breathing
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make myself irrelevant by removing myself from existence when I participate in the mind rather than ensuring I am here and directing myself to walk with/as life as the physical as my breathing
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe going into the mind to follow thoughts, feelings or emotions will give me what I am looking for instead of realizing, seeing, and understanding what I am looking for I already am - it's just a matter if I am walking WITH or not
I forgive myself that I have not yet allowed myself to see, realize and understand how simple this process of self-realization and actualization is as it is only a breath away
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe I can live without breathing instead of seeing, realizing, and understand that if I stop breathing, I am no longer alive and so to breathe is to be alive...
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect this physical reality as my body when I participate with thoughts in my mind instead of realizing that what this reality as a whole is showing us is that through our neglect and disregard for our own breathing as walking with/as the physical, we neglect the totality of the physical that is this reality and is why we have the suffering on this earth we do
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want people to wake up to the reality of who we are and what we are capable of before I am willing to do that and LIVE that and show others how myself
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for not doing more to change themselves instead of realizing I have yet to perfect myself within/as my physical body which is to be here with/as every breath
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe being with/as my breathing in every moment is hard instead of realizing like anything, it takes practice and the more I practice the better I get, and the more I am creating myself to be the breathing machine I already am as the physical body
I forgive myself that I have not yet allowed myself to align to the system of life which is the physical body in all its glory
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe there is a greater mind at work designing this reality as proof in the design of the physical body as a "higher intelligence" and yet not allow myself to align to this higher intelligence through actually breathing with/as this body to see who I am purely as this physical body
I forgive myself that I have not yet allowed myself to become this physical body as the self I am as the flesh of me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe I am anything more than what this body is
I forgive myself that I have not yet allowed myself to fully embrace me as a physical body without a mind as my master
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to submit my body to the master-mind that extracts my life force from my physical and depletes me until I die out instead of realizing the true essence of life and being alive is with/as the breathing
When and as I see myself separated from/as my physical body as my breathing, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize and understand the reason I stop breathing is that I've separated myself into the mind and so I commit myself to always draw myself/my focus back to myself as my body, as my breathing, to ensure I am actually alive and here and directive principle of/as myself as life to ensure I no longer allow the physical life substance to be used to produce energy in a way that is not sustainable
I commit myself to breathe myself back to life
I commit myself to stop myself every time I see myself distracted in my mind and to redirect myself to be in/as my physical body as my physical breathing
I commit myself to continue to practice being aware of/as my breathing until I have perfected myself as a breathing being here in/as the flesh
I commit myself to integrate and amalgamate with the physical life substance that is me
